The Musical



(All titles of songs are in CAPITAL letters.)

The time, June 1897, the place is London.  It is the eve of
Queen Victoria's Diamond Jubilee. England is at the height of

her world power and visitors from all over the world have come

to participate in the Jubilee celebrations


Act one opens in Shepards Alley, a favourite haunt of

streetwalkers who are anticipating
a boost to their trade with

so many tourists and prominent Government figures enjoying

all that Victorian London has to offer.  A beggar calls them to

while the whores boast of their 'goods'

Lord Charles Farthing (an

Undersecretary in the Foreign Office) has come to seek out

Lucy, his favourite lady of the night and is sadly interrupted in

his quest when his trusted butler seeks him out to inform him

that a mutiny has occurred on the frontier in India.  His plans

for the evening are quite ruined!

The following morning, the Farthing household is busy preparing

for the days celebrations.  Sara, a young disgruntled housemaid

sings of her never ending despair at the thought of a life in

(ALL IN A DAYS WORK).  Higgenbotham, a faithful

butler reprimands her

Meanwhile, the 'Upstairs' household are anxiously anticipating

the Jubilee Ball to be held that evening.  Caroline Farthing hears

the clip-clop of horses, flings open the window and joyously

sings (LONDON, YOU'RE SHINING TODAY).  Charles informs

Caroline that he will be delayed attending the Ball and has

invited a French diplomat, Phillippe Juneau to escort his wife. 

Unknown to him, they have already had a romantic interlude the

previous year in Cannes.

Busy preparing the guest bedroom for Mungo Farthing (Lord

Charles' nephew) Sara admires herself in front of a mirror,

longing for a very different life

Mungo listens at the door and teases Sara, enticing her to

forget her 'place' and enjoy some 'hanky panky' with him

Too shocked to speak, Higgenbotham drops

Mungo's luggage at the open door!

Upstairs, Caroline very agitated at the prospect of Philippe

reappearing shortly, paces the room (FRANTIC).  Philippe arrives

and begs Caroline to remember their time together in Cannes.

Penelope Ashford-Jones, a society gossip

and Lord Tweedmouth, friends of the Farthings, call and discuss

the problems of costumes for the forthcoming balls.  Upon

being introduced to Philippe, Penelope with her instinctive

intuition casts a wary look at Caroline and explains the joy of

wagging society tongues

Downstairs, the servants directed by Higgenbotham, present a

tableau for the upstairs household. (SIXTY YEARS A QUEEN). 

The whole household join together in their patriotic feelings (OH

WE NEVER FELT SO GLORIOUS).  The downstairs staff are

given a half day off and Mungo invites Sara to join him and

stay out the whole damn night! (LET'S TAKE A WALK DOWN

PICCADILLY).  Later the same day, Philippe begs Caroline to be

his lover again.  One day a week is all she agrees to and

Philippe, a true Frenchman, exaggerates his fate (EACH

TUESDAY AT TEN).  He picks up Caroline and carries her

upstairs!   Sara meanwhile has been promised by Mungo that

he will introduce her to a friend who is a dancer and change her

life's direction.  He takes her to his friend’s empty house, goes

to the wardrobe and urges her to try on a Spanish gypsy

costume (DANCE FOR ME).  Sara has the distinct feeling that

she will never forget this Jubilee!  Charles who has previously

informed Caroline that he is temporarily impotent is beginning

his early celebrating with Lucy, his favourite whore and has

promised to get her a position at the exclusive Adam and Eve

Club for gentlemen.

A reception room in the Palace is charged with mounting

excitement as the Queen appears, flanked by two East Indian

Guards, one of whom is Munshi, Lucy's lover who has stolen a

locket belonging to the Queen and given it to her as a gift.  

The Queen reflects on her sixty years on the throne (THE

QUEENS SOLILOQUY).  The Ball begins to the strains of

the 'BUTTERFLY WALTZ'.  Two hours later, Caroline and
Philippe plan their weekly rendezvous and he renews Caroline's
feelings for him (I REALLY LOVE YOU).  Upon returning home
after a glorious evening of dancing with Philippe, Charles notices

Caroline's flushed face.  In his usual diplomatic way, he enquires

whether she is ill.  She realizes that Charles is too concerned and

blames her unusual gaiety and the flush of her face on the

results of a little too much liquor (IT MUST HAVE BEEN THE

WINE).  Charles rather cynically agrees but nevertheless, seeing

her in such a radiant mood insists that his impotence has

vanished and he cannot resist sleeping with her tonight!


                                          ACT TWO

Several weeks later, Mungo informs Sara that he will be leaving

for the countryside soon to attend to his uncle's estate there. 

Sara realizes that Mungo has been using her and has no

intention of continuing their relationship.  Sara is furious when

Mungo gloats and tries to buy her silence with a five pound note

(YOU BLOODY BASTARD).  Wandering alone along the

embankment in the dead of night, she reflects on her

bewilderment and confusion (DO YOU EVER WONDER WHO

YOU ARE).  A group of whores emerge out of the shadows and

beckon Sara to join with them.  A Bobby warns her of the

dangers of roaming the streets at night and reminds her that

Jack the Ripper has not been caught (THE BOBBY'S

WARNING).  Higgenbotham and Maud, another servant, rush

towards Sara and beg her to return to the Farthing household

and not to cause a scandal.

The following night, inside the Adam and Eve club, Lucy who

now works there, beckons Philippe, Charles and Sam, (a
acquaintance of Charles) in, and offers them fig leaves
to wear
(the usual attire for the gentlemen whilst at the club). 

discuss various business plans and then Charles invites his
to go upstairs and enjoy all the club has to offer. Philippe
and leaves. 

Charles and Lucy discuss the Queen's missing locket that Lucy is

now wearing around her neck.  Charles insists upon returning it

to the Palace in the hope of being given a promotion.

Caroline visits Philippe and tells him that Munshi had visited her

and told her that Charles had been spending time with Lucy. 

Realizing that he was far from impotent (especially after the

Jubilee night), she feels totally degraded.  Charles appears

having followed his wife, and angrily assumes his position as a

humiliated husband whose wife has committed adultery. 

Caroline expresses her anger at Charles' deception (ENRAGED). 

Charles tries to calm his wife down and reaches an amicable

agreement with Philippe and assures him that a civilized solution

can be found.  He tells Philippe that these spicy and delicate

situations are quite common in English upper class society


The following week at Lord Farthing's country home, Sam

Kendall, Charles' business acquaintance and founder of a South

African Diamond Mine, is talking with Sara who has just arrived

and is dressed in regular clothing.  Sam is rather taken with her

charming looks and winning smile and she tries to convince him

that she is descended from Royal blood (I'M THE SIXTH


certainly makes an impression on him which is quickly seen

through by the cook who reveals her true identity.

Caroline and Philippe enjoy their country stay by riding horses

together.  Philippe tries to get Caroline to forget her position in

Society, to let her hair down and relax in an intimate duo


Meanwhile, Sam and Sara become better acquainted.  He

informs her that he was once working class but he decided to

better himself and sings of how success can open doors, no

matter which class you are from (IT'S FUNNY WHAT MONEY

CAN DO).  Penelope appears and introduces herself to Sam. 

She has apparently found out that he presented the Jubilee

Diamond to Queen Victoria.  It is night at the country house. 

Penelope opens the door of her bedroom to admit Lord   

Tweedmouth.  She gossips as usual about the goings on at the

house (CREAKY FOOTSTEPS). Back in London, Mungo has

discovered that Sara has been seeing Sam and is rather taken

aback, hoping that she would continue her indiscretion with him

whenever he returned to London.  Sam assures Sara that he

has no time for the Upper Classes and is a hardworking man

who came to London to present the Queen with a diamond but

has unexpectedly fallen in love with Sara.  He assures her that

(LOVE HAPPENS) without any rhyme or reason and insists that

Sara agrees to marry him. Mungo, filled with jealousy,

complains to his uncle, all to no avail.  Charles is absolutely

delighted at the news of Sam and Sara and rings for

Higgenbotham to relieve Sara of her duties immediately and to

treat her as a guest forthwith.  Higgenbotham hardly knows

what to say but wishes them every happiness.  He realizes that

Sara was never really suited for service! The wedding of Sara

and Sam takes place while Penelope makes her usual disdainful

remarks.  Mungo threatens to spoil the wedding but Sam simply

knocks him out.  Mungo lies on the floor in a stupor as the Vicar

performs his duties (FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE).  The ensemble

joins together in

A week later, while reading the announcement of Sara's

marriage to Sam, Philippe discovers that Caroline is going to

 have his child.  Realizing that the child would be brought up as

Caroline and Charles' to avoid another scandal, he tells Caroline

that she has brought him tremendous happiness (YOU


One year after the Diamond Jubilee on Empire Day, May 1898,

the Queen's birthday and official end of the Jubilee year, Charles

and Caroline are at home receiving the good wishes of friends

and guests after the christening of the little girl, Victoria. 

Philippe, Sam, Sara, Penelope, Lord Tweedmouth are among

the guests that delight in the little child, although Penelope

certainly has her suspicions. (A MOST AMAZING YEAR)     all

the ensemble agree that 1897 has proved such an exhilarating

year, filled with events beyond belief and the like of which, they

will never see again!.

                                         THE END.


                                                      Book, Music & Lyrics
                                                      Loretta Kay Feld ASCAP

                                           (c) by Loretta Kay Feld, 1996 and 2010

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